lost and found

Spoke too soon...

So it's raining again and I'm hiding in a bar all alone...
friendless and faceless...
the raindrops fall -splat- so fat on the window beside me...

I hear it better than the music.

I try hard to stare outside focussing on my inability to focus through the water
and toss out all the fullness in my brain that is making it so hard to embrace the emptyness
that I've been told I should try to understand.

music mocks me

The songs stop for an instant and so does the rain and I literally fall off my too-tall-for-me stool
when an unknown hand slaps me on the back.

"Heyyyyyyyy! What're you doing here? Sorry did I scare you?" followed by giggles and an apologetic kiss on the cheek all before I've worked out who has just helped me find my centre of empty-ness.

"Oh.. heyyy..." Sigh. I really like this one too... so much so, I blush and try to jump back onto my stool seemingly casually as if falling off stools is an everyday thing for me... and slip off again.. yeah... super great impression.

Try blushing purple and then go up a shade.

As usual the perpetrator of my embarrassment seems to be amused by my awkwardness and sits down right beside me. Now that I'm not trying my mind goes blank quite successfully.

Until I spot you.

Of course, because I am staring and ignoring all other signs of danger like a startled animal trapped in headlights, my friend turns and spots you too.

To my horror, both of you light up in recognition and proceed towards each other for a friendly embrace.

Your attention is a hundred percent not on me, until you are seated directly opposite me and introductions are made. I am still too frozen to move.

But I see the same horror in your eyes when they reach mine.

All we can both think about is how to run. Away.

Our mutual friend has picked up the tension.

"Do you know each other?"

Well?

Unfortunately, this is how we will meet again, and this is how it will never happen.

Winterson style...