"no boy don't speak now you just drive..."*

me: i'm lost
you: you can't be lost you silly girl, I know exactly where you are!
me: oh...
you: so? you said you wanted to talk?
me: well. no, not really. i just wanted you here. in this unreality. i wanted you here with me and you appeared
just like that
you: that's just chance
me: no! see, i really don't think it is. i wished you here!
you: you're a lucky girl if all your wishes are granted so easily
me: but i am lucky
you: stop italisising.. it's pissing me off
me: but then how will i stress certain words? there's already so much missing here...
you can't hear me, you can't see me, you can't touch me...
you: but I do hear you!
me: now you're italisising ;P
you: it's bloody contagious, that's what it is...
me: sharing is caring ;)
you: are you ok, now? I sense real smiles
me: i don't know.. can i come round?
you: what?
me: to your place.. can i come and see you?
i want to see you...
you: ...
me: you can say no
you: no.. I mean, no... that's not what I want to say.
you: GRRR!
you: I don't want to say no.
me: ok :)
you: how will you get here?
me: if you can wait, i can find you...
~.~
so there wasn't anything else i could do but run. so run i did. i ran and ran and ran and the more i ran the more frightened i became because it was dark and the streets were so unfriendly and there was not a soul in sight anywhere and i'm not the best with directions. all i knew was that i had to run away and i could only hope that it was towards you and it seemed a freezing night, like it didn't matter how hard i ran, it didn't matter that i began to gasp for air and it didn't matter that my legs hurt, my whole body felt so cold...
~.~
"Oh my god, you're a mess!"
I couldn't help but laugh eventhough I was still breathing quite heavily and it made me cough which made it harder to breathe, which made me cough some more...
"Are you okay???"
"I'm... fine... " I smiled. Real smile.
You looked at me worried. Maybe a little scared.
What makes a person run ten ks in the middle of the night just to see a friend?
"You're crazy..."
"I know.. I'm sorry."
Now you smile. Let out a huge sigh of relief. Start to laugh.
I loved your laugh. I rarely ever saw you laugh. To hear it was even more delightful.
I had to tell you: "Thank you."
"For what?" You genuinely didn't know.
"For talking to me..." Wasn't it obvious?
"I'll always talk to you."
I wasn't so sure you would...
"Ok, let me drive you home before you catch your death out here."
I let you lead me to the car. I didn't want to go home but I knew I couldn't stay with you. Once seated in the car, you put my seatbelt on for me before you got in. Like I was child. I turned away from you and leant against the window.
I suppose you thought I fell asleep.
~.~


*Bic Runga, "Drive"