Vigil

I'm staying awake for devotional purposes.

I ate so much last night I feel fat. So now I'm probably heavy enough to give blood. Did you know you can't give blood if you're under 45kg?

Food is great. It makes people happy. That's why I'm determined that for the next four weeks or so, I will continually perfect my muffin recipe, changing flavours and adding flair. And I will also start to learn a variety of healthy happy yummy savoury dishes in case of emergency cases where I need to fend for myself and actually cook. Today I will be making miniature pies. Oh yes, that mini muffin tin is coming in handy! Good results will be documented. Bad results will result in the disappearance of these two lines.

I have a(nother) theory: that I am extra cold this Winter because I have somehow lost my layer of insulation fat. All I have left is that ugly spare tyre fat that doesn't keep me warm at all! I mean, what else could explain the fact that I survived a European Winter with less woolies than I have now, wearing less layers than I wear now, feeling less cold than I feel now?!?

I've been having some weird and wacky dreams in the early hours just before daylight when I finally drop off to sleep from exhaustion, and I know they're weird and wacky because I remember thinking, wow! this is pretty weird and wacky! but I don't remember at all who was in the dreams (besides myself, and let's be honest, I'm not even sure that I was myself) and what the hell the dreams were about or what happened. I remember places though... strange how location location location can have such a strong impact. I remember having to squeeze through a white paper wall and trying not to tear it and also balancing on a paper box... I think we (cos I'm sure I wasn't alone) must've been looking for something... Too much reading of the wilderness and the promised land.

I finished reading The Powerbook a few nights ago (perhaps more accurate to say a few mornings ago). I was half way through the book and the realisation hit me that I couldn't for the life of me remember how it ended, so of course, I had to finish the book in order to find out how it ended. Did she or didn't she? Yes or No? Good and bad? Happy or Sad. I had no idea. Then I got to the end and remembered why I couldn't remember the ending....

When you were little, did you ever read those choose your own adventure stories? I did. And I had to read it in a way where I could read every possible ending. So in effect, I read the entire book, cover to cover. That didn't really produce the ending I wanted at all, but instead a multitude of endings, of possibilities, without any chance whatsoever or distinguishing between reality or fiction....

I have to go to work tomorrow night in the real world.